It has been a long time since I wrote something here, a word to describe why: vulnerability.
See, when I started this blog the idea was to share my feelings and experiences to inspire others to care about nature. But in the midst of trying to create awareness and reach more people (with SEO and digital strategies) I forgot about myself, it was as if I was telling a story full of facts with few examples of my experiences. I forgot how important was being vulnerable and after I was conscious of this, I felt frozen, I could not bring myself to write again.
Also, I had major changes in my life that required my attention…
I moved out of London
Went to Venezuela for a month to visit my family
I moved to Plymouth to start a Masters (after almost 10 years of studying at university)
And each of those events moved something inside of me that I wanted to share, I just didn’t know how, because it was scary to be vulnerable again.
I felt overwhelmed…
See I thought that because I wanted to write about sustainability I could not share how difficult it was for me to leave a town (London) that I love so much and where I finally felt, after 3 years, that I found friends. I also thought that nobody would want to know about all the experiences I lived visiting my country, because not everyone wants to know what is happening there.
I felt ashamed…
After starting the Masters and being a student again (living within a budget) I started to learn so much about all the sides of sustainability, and I thought “I only know the tip of the iceberg. Who am I to share with people advice about how to take care of the environment?”
And of course, there was also the time limit, between a part-time job, a full-time Masters, trying to make new friends and making the most out of my time to gain experience on my field of interest. It became difficult to live according to my values and writing about this on my blog.
Vulnerability is also about being myself…
But then again, vulnerability is what brings us closer, it is how we connect, and it is how I can be honest and authentic. It is about acknowledging that I do not know all the answers, that I make loads of mistakes, that I am an irrational being sometimes and that I feel and learn just like everyone else does, which makes my story real and complex.
Why I want to write again?… I will share that in the next post 😉
Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive. – Brene Brown